Rite of Passage

 When I finally became a man at the age of 21, my step-dad finally started to spend more time with me. He helped me fix on my first car and he also told me stories of what his life was like when he was my age. He was raised in Mount Vernon, Arkansas, but he moved to Conway in the Mid- 1950's. He said, that even though the city of Conway was segregated at that time, there was a place outside of the city limits where young blacks and whites would go to do things that they didn't want their parents to find out about. This place was called "Tin Can Hill". 
He said, that if you wanted to get high, drag race or even get laid, Tin Can Hill was the place to do it.
As time progressed, I found out later that Tin Can Hill was none other than the city dump ! The moral of this story is this:
You've got to always remember that before your parents became your parents that they were probably some pretty cool people. If you are on speaking terms with them, ask them to be honest with you and tell you what life was like for them before they had children. You might hear some stories that might make you blush!

The Worst Ass- Whipping of My Life

The year was 1992. I was 15 years old at the time that I received the worst ass whipping of my life.
Here are the events that lead up to it. 
In junior high, I ran for class president. My popularity was at its highest level at that time.
I ended up losing to my friend Amber Wren. 
A few weeks later, the junior high dance was about to happen. April, a young woman that I was attracted to at the time, had asked me if I was going to the dance. She said that she would dance with me if I showed up. I told her that I would be there without a doubt.
Keep in mind that my family was Pentecostal and they would have never gone for it. 
I asked my mother if I could go, knowing that the answer would be NO! 
On the night of the dance, I went to my friend Reginald's house after school and I waited there until it was time for us to go to the dance.
He lived down the street from the school so we walked there. 
The dance was held at the school gymnasium. 
When I found April, I danced with her like it was my last night of freedom, which it would be for a very long time.  
In the middle of dancing with her, the school dance's chaperone found me and pulled me to the side to tell me that my mother had called the school in search of me because I did not come home on time. 
He told me to leave and return home immediately because she was so worried about me.
What he did not know was that she had an ass whipping waiting for me because I had actively defied her order for me not to attend that dance. 
I don't remember how I got home that night. 
However, I do remember that when I got home my mom whipped my ass for nearly two hours.
One hour was for making her worry about my safety. The second hour was for disobeying her orders. 
After that ass-whipping, I was grounded until I started my summer job. 
I never disobeyed my mom like that ever again. 
It's amazing how much trouble a young man will get into behind the attention of a young woman, but it was worth it! 

Embracing the title of " Uncle Rickey"

Recently, my eldest niece Virgindlynn Teriana Brown, confessed to me that she had been seeing a young man for a little over 8 months. 
What she didn't know was that her mother had already told me about this young man 6 months prior.  I was just waiting for her to tell me that information about him on her own time. 
First of all, I should say that I am very impressed with her. She is doing well academically, and she is involved in not one, but two extra- curricular activities. 
She is a cheerleader for her high school football team and she is a member of her school JROTC program. 
I once asked her why she chose to be a cheerleader at the same time as being involved in JROTC. 
She replied, " I had to get out of my comfort zone. Isn't that what you told me to do, Uncle Rickey?" 
For the first time in my life, I did not have a comeback for her.
Now back to what I was saying at the beginning of this tale. 
I asked my niece about why she chose to delay telling me about her new boyfriend. 
She said something that really made me proud of her decision.
She said, " I didn't want to tell you because I wanted to make sure that it was going to work out. Relationships don't always work out the way that you plan for them to go." 
It took me several years and many relationships to understand something that she understood at the age of 15.
She went on to tell me that I would like this young man because he is smart and seems to be a gentleman just like me.
I am so glad that she takes the time to consult me about things that are happening in her life from time to time. 
As she gets older, I know that there will come a time where she will no longer seek my advice and begin to sort things out for herself. 
Until then, I will enjoy the magical moments of being the "Jiminy Cricket" of her life.

A Gift From My Grandmother Telitha Gulley

When I was 21, I had just bought my first car. 
My first long distance trip was to go and see my father's mother Telitha Gulley. 
Prior to this trip, I had not seen my grandmother since 1995. My grandmother at this point of her life had both of her legs cut off due to her battle with diabetes. The year was 1998.
It was on this trip that she gave me a backpack. Inside this backpack was $10,000, to be used for my tuition and books. 

She wanted me to go to college, because she had dropped out of school due to excessive partying. 
She really wanted me to go because she felt that I was her last hope of receiving a college graduate in the family due to the fact that neither of her children had chosen not to attend.
Even though I vowed to her that I would eventually go to school, at that point my life, I had no plans of going to school because I was in the military and I wanted to sew my wild oats.
Unfortunately, she lost her battle with diabetes a year later 1999. By this time, I had spent half of the money on wild escapes and gifts for the young women in my life. 

I felt guilty, so I saved the other half of the money for college.
In the fall of 2001, I happily became enrolled at the University of Central Arkansas with the backpack that was given to me by her. 
Each and every morning, I would get up and speak to that bag and say, " Okay grandma, it's time to go to class!"
Over time the backpack had lost one of its straps. 
Despite its ugly appearance I had managed to still make the daily journey to class with it.
It was not until my last year of college that I had finally decided to retire the backpack that I called "grandma" because the school lunch ladies felt bad for me and they chipped in to buy me a new and expensive Jansport backpack. 
On December 16, 2006, I received my Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Central Arkansas and I finally completed my grandmother's wish for me to become a college graduate. 
I just wish that she would have been alive to have seen me do it. 
The moral of the story is this:
Always remember that no matter how long that it takes you to do it, it is never too late to become educated. Knowledge is power. Never forget this. 

My Paternal Grandfather

Up until I was 4 years old, I lived with parents in my dad's parent's home. 
My best friend and hero at the time was paternal grandfather Zebedee Gulley.
He always left home before the sun came up. He would return home just as the sun would begin to set for the evening.
He worked for International Paper's Paper Mill in Wheelen Springs, Arkansas. 
When he was away, I would serve as his eyes and ears when it came to finding out what had been going on at the house. 
I once told him about the time that my grandmother had put a dent in her 1978 Buick Regal by accident. 
As a reward for keeping him updated, he brought home a cap for me with his work emblem on it.
I kept that hat for years! 
Sadly, in 2003, I lost him to a battle with diabetes when I was in my 2nd year of college. 
He also died without me speaking to him because of a disagreement that I had with him for not giving me something that my grandmother had left to me in death. 
I wish that I had not been so petty to let something like that ruin our relationship, but what it is done is done. 
My prayer is that those of you that may be reading this will get the relationships that you have your relatives back on track before it is too late. 
Time is something that you can never get back. 
Remember that. 

A Special Conversation With A Candidate

During the campaign season of 2018, I had the privilege of having lunch with Maureen Skinner, who was a person that was running for State Senator of my district.
One of the things that I wanted to know from her was how her family felt about her decision to run for office.
What a lot of people do not realize is that when you run for office, your family runs for office as well.
Muckraking was still real in 2018. When you are a public official, there is nothing in your life that becomes off limits for the media to talk about.
As much as we hate to admit it, dirt is what sells newspapers.
She told me that her family was fine with her decision and that they even participated in the door knocking and phone bank calling process that is necessary to reach out to the constituents.
My hat goes off to anyone that decides to step to the plate to represent their community. It is not an easy thing to do.
Whether you do a good job or not, your job is always on the line every 2 to 4 years. Let's not forget about those term limits as well.
Therefore, if serving the public is your calling get on up and do what you believe is right for your community. Just remember to be aware of the long nights and headaches that will come along with the territory.

A Word of Thanks From Sheila Clemons For All of the Birthday Wishes 8 18 18