Sunday, June 28, 2015
The Red Light Special
Once upon time in September of 2013, I came to a stop light and the car next to me had their radio
blasting Jamie Foxx. It was a car full of middle aged women that was
keeping up this racket. So I turned down my radio, rolled down my
window, and commenced to flirting with the chick on the passenger side.
Next thing that I know, for at least a minute and half all of us sang
that Jamie Foxx song at the stop light. Ahh, Fun times !
Treyvonne Martin Case viewed by the Elderly
One evening in July of 2013, I decided to take a break and visit with my aunt. I love to
spend time with my elders. They allow us to look at life at a more
simple perspective. Tonight's conversation was about the Treyvonne
Martin case. I was looking for a profound answer when I asked her the
following question: I said,"Auntie what are your thoughts about this
case? " She said, " That young lady that they put on the stand sure was
stupid ! I sure hope that her testimony doesn't hurt the case." I was
floored ! I just knew that she going to tell me something insightful.
Instead, I got the answer that I had already thought myself. I love older
people. They aren't as different from us as we might think !
Getting Spanked For The First Time
Back in July of 2013, I went to an undisclosed location to see one of my favorite
rap groups from my teenage years perform. I was pushed up against the
stage. While I was there, this young attractive woman grinds up on my
behind and spanks me ! She said that I had a nice booty and she couldn't
help but smack it. I was highly confused on how to feel at that point. I
didn't know whether accept it as a compliment, or to feel violated ! Now I know that having a strange person feel on your bottom really
doesn't feel all that great. The lessons we learn as we get older .....
The Importance of a Good Credit Score
When I first started selling cars, I saw something that I have never seen before. I saw someone with a 352 credit score! With that kind of a score you can't even get a Discover card! Some people really
don't understand the concept of what it really means to have a good credit
score. Let me enlighten you. It symbolizes whether or not we can trust
you to pay us. For those of you who have a 0 credit score, the following
information is a quick way to establish credit. Go to a place like
Rent-A-Center. Get something like some lamps and pay on it until you pay
it off. It works ! Well, that is all for now. And remember to protect
your good name at all times!
Why Get Married If You Are Going To Cheat ?
It really does bother me to hear married men brag about how many other
women that they have slept with. In fact, me and a co-worker had a
friendly discussion about it. I asked him, "Why did you get married if
you know that you were going to sleep with other women?" He said he
likes different body types and that he loves his wife. And that men are
going to do what men do. Ladies and gentlemen, that is just a foolish
way to try to justify infidelity. The
sad part is that as men, we have been using this explanation for years. I
truly believe that a " Real Man" honors his commitments. Marriage is
supposed to sacred. When you take those vows and say I DO, you agree to
forsake all others. I know for a fact that I am smart enough to know
that I am not ready to be married, due to unresolved issues. The moral
of this story is this: If you are not ready to be involved in a
committed relationship, just be honest with yourself and to the other
person. You come out a lot better in the end by saving yourself a whole
lot of misery."
Dancing Machine
It seems as if the wildest things happen to me when I decide to go to the mall. I was minding my own business, when a woman from my past comes up to me and hugs me with her husband in tow. She told her husband about how when I used to dance with her at the Conway Skating Rink parties that I used to make her feel as if she was the hottest woman in the room. Granted, this was not the first time that I have ever heard this from a woman.
All that I wanted to do back then was have fun. It just so happens that whenever I danced with someone, it seemed as if the whole room was watching ! Ahhh.... fun times ! I am just glad that she still had those memories of me. It made me feel as if I had done something right ! Especially since she shared that info with her husband. Who does that ?
All that I wanted to do back then was have fun. It just so happens that whenever I danced with someone, it seemed as if the whole room was watching ! Ahhh.... fun times ! I am just glad that she still had those memories of me. It made me feel as if I had done something right ! Especially since she shared that info with her husband. Who does that ?
Very Bad Business
Once upon a time when I used to sell cars, On a Friday, this woman came to my job to solicit her catering business.
Keep in mind that my manager wasn't going to give her a chance because
we have other caterers that give us a great deal. So after much
persuasion from me, they decided to go with her in a couple of weeks.
Moving on to Saturday, I called her to deliver a personal order for me.
She tells me that she may be 30 minutes late with my food. I was okay
with it at first, because that was the time limit
that she quoted. She actually showed up an hour and 45 minutes late !
Keep in mind that she had my number the whole time. Am I wrong to ask
for some kind of discount for making me wait for half-way cold delivered
food ? I ended up paying full price for it because, well, I was hungry !
Notice to small business owners: Customer service is way more important
than price tag. If you deliver the best in customer service, your
clients will generally pay you what you need to operate your business.
When you give up customer service, in essence, you are asking for
business failure.
I promise you that she will never get another dime out of me again.
I promise you that she will never get another dime out of me again.
Mind Your Own Business
A few years, I told a woman that I see almost every morning that my prayer for
her is that she would quit smoking. She replied, "Sir there is a reason
why I smoke. My kids stole $2,700 out of my account. I was only $5,000
away from paying my house off and they still evicted me." I then said, "
Forget what I said. Let me get you a cigarette lighter!" The moral of
this story is this: just because people are doing things that we don't
agree with, doesn't give us the right to pry. In other words, sometimes it just a good idea to mind your own business!
What A Big Flirt I Am
Anyone who really knows me knows that I am a huge flirt. What can I say ?
Old habits are hard to break. Well check this out. I am at this
nightspot flirting with yet another older woman.What can I can say? It's what I do. After
my little spill, she smiled said It feels good to know that a younger
man still thinks that I have it going on. The moral of this story is
this: you know that you are a child of the 90s if you have ever used the
phrase " got it going on !" Ah , fun times !
I Caught You Looking At Me
A while back, I was in Wal-Mart buying groceries for the week. I am in
the check-out line when I noticed that this young woman was checking out
my rear end. The look on her face when she noticed that she was CAUGHT
was PRICELESS ! LOL. The moral of this story is that men aren't only
ones that check out the posterior anatomy !
Saturday, June 27, 2015
House Party Confessions
A while back, I attended a
house party of a close military friend. This party was filled with notorious
celebrities such as Bud Light and Jim Beam. It truly amazes me how much
of the truth will come out when someone is intoxicated. Okay, we all
were gathered around a table when the subject of theft come up. The
majority of the people in attendance confessed of the many things that
they had stolen over their lifetime. I sat in
my chair dumbfounded and bewildered with some of the things that they
had mentioned. Then they got to me and asked what I had stolen. I told
them NOTHING! They treated me as if I were not a member of the club when
I told them that. Forgive me for being a square or even an octagon, but
I grew up knowing that the bible clearly states that thou shall not
STEAL! Maybe they didn't get that memo. The moral of this story is that
sometimes you really don't know the type of person that you are dealing
with until they have been high or intoxicated !
Missing in Action
My father was not in my life for the majority of my young adult years.
For a long time, it was hard for me to forgive him for not being there. It wasn't until years later that I found out that he wasn't present because he wasn't allowed to be there for me. I will say that he was there for my high school and college graduations. So that made it easier for me to forgive him. Now is he the jerk that my mom said that he was ?YES ! But that is something that I had to figure out for myself. I still love him just the same. One important thing that I have learned over the years is the following: You can't get back lost time with your parents. However, you can make sure that you at least try to make a better future for the both of you. As long as God gives you the precious time to have with your parents, do the best that you can to enjoy one another. Time stands still for no one. Remember that.
For a long time, it was hard for me to forgive him for not being there. It wasn't until years later that I found out that he wasn't present because he wasn't allowed to be there for me. I will say that he was there for my high school and college graduations. So that made it easier for me to forgive him. Now is he the jerk that my mom said that he was ?YES ! But that is something that I had to figure out for myself. I still love him just the same. One important thing that I have learned over the years is the following: You can't get back lost time with your parents. However, you can make sure that you at least try to make a better future for the both of you. As long as God gives you the precious time to have with your parents, do the best that you can to enjoy one another. Time stands still for no one. Remember that.
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